Useful Things My Mom Has Taught Me

As I was trying to go back to sleep at 4:30 a.m. this morning after cleaning up one of my children's  vomit, my thoughts inevitably turned to my mom who cleaned up countless gallons of vomit from 5 children, (and unfortunately 2 grandchildren when their parents went on a graduation cruise for a week last year).  My older brother and I laugh about that horrible post-vomit shaky distress cry where you try to direct your voice from the bathroom just loud enough to wake Mom but not loud enough to disturb Dad who has to go to work in the morning.  And in case you are wondering, as a mother who has been the recipient of this distressed, watery cry, I still find it funny when I talk about it with my brother.  Maybe I can only say that though because this morning my son was a champion vomiter and managed to only get it on the sheets and NOT the floor and NOT the bedspread.  It's the little things that count.

As for useful things my mom has taught me, the list begins with (surprise!) something gross, given the way our day started out.

1. The best tools for cleaning up vomit are gloves and a plastic spoon.

I have so appreciated this advice in the middle of the night when I am too tired to think.  I have found I can do pretty much anything if I am wearing plastic gloves.  We buy them in bulk from Costco and I use them for anything from handling meat to cleaning up bodily fluids.  You wouldn't think of a plastic spoon as your tool of choice, but it is priceless for lifting chunks out of the carpet instead of smearing them in when you are trying to wipe them up with a rag.  Obviously the benefit of it being plastic is that it gets thrown away afterward.  My mom is a genius, I tell you.  She has practical ways for doing lots of things.

 
One thing I have remembered from being sick in the night as a child was how patient my mom was with us.  She would have to get up multiple times, change sheets, clean up, and she did it all without making us feel like it was our fault.  She is a great example of patience and I strive to be like her in how I treat my own kids. 

2. Just settle down.

One of the most infuriating things as a child/teenager was being told to settle down.  The thing is, Mom was right.  Sometimes you just need to settle down.  Most of the time, no good comes from being stressed.  My mom is great at letting calmness prevail.  Even when she gets into stressful situations, she is great at conveying a sense of peace and order.  I think that is one big reason all of us kids still like coming home.  We associate good feelings with being there.  Both Mom and Dad are good at listening to our problems and then helping us proceed with solving them in a calm, orderly fashion.  So settle down, dang it!

3. I'm just precious.

Along with being calm, my parents both possess a great sense of humor.  I appreciate their example especially in their marriage when they can diffuse what could potentially elevate into arguments with the phrase, "Just precious!"  It's a phrase that has evolved in our family to pretty much mean, "I know I am silly, but just love me anyway."  That has come in useful when Ben and I have to redirect our discussions.  "Just precious!" saves the day.

4.  Things happen in a special way.

Another magical phrase in our family is "in a special way".  Ever had your child ask you a difficult or potentially awkward question?  Well, "in a special way" is for you.  Don't know how to explain how the motor of a frontloader works?  Well, the parts work together "in a special way", duh.  Don't know how to explain how the baby comes out of your tummy?  Well, you go to the hospital and the doctor helps it come out "in a special way", silly.  My mom used that phrase more times than I was ever aware because I was so often satisfied with answers to my questions and therefore didn't question the special way she was referring to.  Sneaky little devil.

5. It will all even out in the end.

As kids, I'm sure we fought a lot.  This doesn't mean we had an unhappy childhood or that our parents were bad, it just means we were kids.  My kids fight about who gets to flush the urine down the toilet, and I don't count that as a parenting fail...I chalk that up to being 2 and 5.  I remember being pretty instrumental in those childhood fights, and probably got away with more than I should've since I was able to cast blame pretty effectively on my older brother.

One way my mom was able to put an end to some of those fights or feelings of jealousy when someone was invited to a sleepover was by reassuring us that it would all even out in the end.  I'm not sure if that is true, because I remember hearing this other well-known phrase from other sources that "Life Isn't Fair" but it sure was nice as a kid.  Lucky for Mom, I think those of us who were keeping score lost count a long time ago, so we were never able to test her theory.  I'm not sure who got invited to more sleepovers to this day.

In all seriousness, fairness amongst members of our family was a huge part of how we were raised.  I always felt like my parents listened to me as a teenager and tried to be fair in letting me explain my reason for being late for curfew, why I needed extra money for something, why my grade wasn't what it should be, and I feel like that sense of fairness blossomed in my prepubescent mind into respect for others.  My parents never went spouting off about showing respect: their actions and example spoke louder than their words ever could.  Maybe that's why I never really fought with my parents as a teenager--they never went around hurling punishments at me willy-nilly that I didn't understand.

6. There is value in a good rant.

I'm not sure how many hours in the day my mom has to accomplish things, but I know at least a few of those hours are taken up every day by her kids( especially her daughters), calling her every day to chat.  Mom is good at listening to rants because she knows when to jump in and say, "That's so annoying!" or "Well, I can see how that would be frustrating, but maybe you should've..."  Either way, she realizes it is essential for her kids to just get it off their chests and then move on with life.  And the great thing is, she doesn't go around blabbing to a bunch of people like your junior high friends would.  Not that I speak from experience...

7. It's soooo good-a!

My mom is a great cook.  There is no one's food I would rather eat than hers.  She has mastered the art of mashed potatoes and gravy (among many other things) and I find myself always comparing others to hers and I am always disappointed.  Our family cookbook, dubbed "The Bible" is one of my most prized possessions, and I am lucky to have a living and breathing companion resource (my mom) that I can call with virtually any cooking question I may have.  There were a lot of calls when I lived in Ohio and repeatedly cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

We always ate dinner together as a family growing up, and it has been just lately that I've discovered that not all families do that.  There were definitely lots of busy days where some family members had other obligations, but we always knew Mom would have dinner for us.  I feel lucky that my mom passed on her talent and love of cooking to me.  I feel like good food makes anything better.

There are many more life lessons that I could articulate, but I think I'd probably better go and care for my sick child.  Thanks for all of the useful life lessons, Mom!  Happy Mother's Day!