However delightful it is working at USU as a switchboard operator, it does have its drawbacks. Here are some highlights:
1. People calling because they want to be reassured that they won't be attacked by Mormons the second they come to Logan. They want to know about the bars, clubs, and sleep-over policy for the university. Since I'm the local authority on all of that, I'm just the perfect person to talk to. (Right....) I must say that I'm not jealous of that lifestyle AT ALL. But whatever floats your boat, right?
2. People yelling personal insults at you over the phone because the registrar's office won't answer their dang phone. And no I will not run over and tell them to answer their phone, so stop asking.
3. Older people calling me sweetie, dear, cutie, honey, darling, etc. Do I really sound that young on the phone?
4. The same old man calling and telling us jokes and riddles, such as: How many farm animals can you fit into a pair of women's pantyhose? (I still don't know. He never told us the answer. It's going to bug me. How many can you fit?)
5. The same mysterious boy that always tries to guess our names. (We're not supposed to tell anyone our names, so when they ask we have to say "I can't give out that information) We'll say "Utah State" and he'll say "Jessica?" and most of the time we'll say "No, this is the operator" but one time he guessed one of our names. It was creepy.
6. Lonely young men that call on Friday or Saturday nights and ask us to look up the number for Lava Hot Springs and then ask us to go with them when we get off work. How desperate can you be? Do I have a sexy voice or somethin'?
7. The same little girl that calls over and over again and tells us that we're fat and ugly and that we're fired. She's a gem.
8. Summer citizens. (Oh dear...don't get me started) I'm sorry, but you are not allowed to call crappy student housing your "summer condo". It's no condo, trust me. And no, people are not conspiring against you by giving you the broken phone every single summer you come to Cache Valley. Lastly, I will NOT use my personal cell phone to call your daughter in Vermont to tell her you arrived safely. It's 11:00 p.m. her time and she's probably glad to be rid of you anyway.
9. Trying to decipher what foreigners are saying. 9 times out of 10 they want International Students and Scholars, and the other 10% want this other guy on campus named Neil Dabb. (I don't actually know who he is, but I think he might be a drug dealer, member of the Mafia, or part of the CIA.)
10. Working on nights, weekends, and holidays when all we can say is "I'm sorry, campus is closed. Call another time." Honestly, who really believes that the registrar's office will be open at 9:30 on a Saturday night?
11. The awkward silence that follows when someone asks for the Gay and Lesbian Center. Then the disgusted "ew" that follows after they've been transferred.
3 comments:
Melinda at her best and bitterest. You crack me up Nin.
I used to work at a call center for Wells Fargo and I spoke to lots of stupid people, but fortunately I never had to transfer anyone to our gay and lesbian department...I'm sure Wells Fargo has one they just never told us.
Oh, I have such fond memories of the little girl who loves to fire and insult you... I loved threatening to tell her Mom on her. Hey, I can be juvenile if she can! :) She wouldn't believe you knew who her Mom was, so you'd tell her her Mom's name and after a few seconds of silence she'd hang up on you. And then sometimes she'd call back a few minutes later sounding scared, asking if you were really going to call her Mom. :) Oh, those were the days!!! I must say, you really hit it on the nose, truly a day in the life of a Switchboard Operator. Please, please call me when you finish Eclipse!!! I want to talk!!!
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